Many of us may have heard, know of or may have been in a relationship with someone that you know you should have never connected with beyond just saying hello. Those of us that may have lived that life was given another chance, and sometimes chance after chance to make it right and do better. For whatever reason we made the decision to live in every moment of it. I'm here and was given another chance so that my story could be told to help someone else.
My Story.....
In spring of 2013, I went through one of the most traumatic experiences in my life. I had built a friendship and relationship with someone I attended church with. (For the sake of privacy I will not reveal his name). With every fiber of my being, I understood and believed we had a solid friendship that developed into a relationship dating back to the earlier part of 2012. The experience that occurred in 2013 rocked and cracked me to my very core. That one incident made me question a lot about who I was, what I believed in and why I lived the lifestyle of believing in a loving God that allowed something terrible to happen to me ....AGAIN!
On my own terms, and while settling to deal with the healing process on my own, and doing it my way; I lived through, covered and processed my own thoughts for the remainder of 2013 and for over half of 2014. I had even made an ungodly decision to no longer date men that said they were Christians, worked in ministry, did outreach or anything else that pertained to the church. So in September 2014 I met and dated someone for over a year. I loved and cared about him so much....we loved each other and I just knew that I would soon spend the rest of my life with him. That was merely a thought until red flags, sudden behavior changes and major deal breakers started to surface. After being in that relationship until October 2015, I realized shortly thereafter that yes I loved him, but I loved him from a dark and broken place. In that place, I was okay with compromising and just going with the the flow of how the relationship was and where it was headed. Since I am being transparent, I didn't pray much about what was going on with that relationship. Although being in that relationship was costing me more than I knew at the time, I would pray about everything else except for me and the relationship that I was involved in. I knew there were some pray warriors(my support love ones) sending up prayers on behalf of my heart and where I was spiritually. They saw how I was changing and what the relationship was doing to me. Knowing that prayers were covering me, I knew something would eventually happen.
Shortly thereafter I decided to walk away from that relationship because of the turn of certain events. I walked away while I still had pieces of me that had not been completely destroyed. Now that it has been over a year since that time, I have allowed God to work on that area and heal everything that was damaged in that part of my heart. I am in a much better place in my life, and I understand more of God's saving grace. His love for me is too great to leave me in an unhealthy place. Some may have experienced a situation similar to mine, but know that God will not allow you to stay in that place and be that far away from Him.
Scripture: Romans 5:20-21
Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Prayer......
Heavenly Father you have searched me and you know me. You hear my thoughts, you know my needs and breathe your life into my dreams. Father your heart is full of wisdom, truth and love. You lead me to enjoy the beauty of your creation, to engage each day with love in my heart. I know you will lead me to meet someone special to walk with. I know you want to give me the desires of my heart. You are a loving Father, I can share my every hope, every feeling and every dream with you. You teach me Lord to live a life brimming with your love and goodness. I am blessed to live in your care. Thank you that you will guide me into true love and happiness by your gentle hand. I choose to give my life to you each day. Amen!
In His Service....Sheila~
No comments:
Post a Comment